Forgive…
Originally posted on March 3, 2016
“…forgive us our sins as we forgive those who have sinned against us…”
Regardless of whether you believe in God or the ancient texts, this is good medicine to remember.
Forgiveness is ALL about self. More often than not the other person does not even know I have been wronged and is busy living their own life while I am moping around, stomping around, whining, etc. Often they don’t know, nor do they care what I am feeling – unless I have the strength and courage to let them know what they said or did that hurt me.
Something I am working quite diligently on is gratitude – whenever I feel ‘put upon’ or hurt, I do my best to look at the situation and find gratitude. I have to remember that everyone is a mirror and whenever I see something in someone else that I do not like or is uncomfortable, or if they pushed my anger button, I need to take a look within and find that part of me that is probably hidden. Hidden behind fear – which usually exhibits itself masked as anger.
When I can reach a point of gratitude, then the forgiveness is almost automatic. I used to believe in the old saying, “just because you forgive them doesn’t mean you have to forget.” This is too often misconstrued as forget the whole thing, the entire incident, whatever it was; however, I have come to understand that it is important to forget the incident, the hurt, but remember the lesson(s) learned. Learn to forgive AND forget AND be grateful for getting the opportunity to learn more about Self.
Another piece of this puzzle is that I attract what I put out. That being said, if I am getting my feelings hurt frequently, or stuff is happening to me over and over, then I need to take a look in the mirror and ask myself, “What energy am I putting out that would cause me to receive this?” More often than not, I recognize that I had been thinking about something from my past – something I had forgiven, but not forgotten (hence, not truly forgiven) – and since I am putting out that kind of energy, it only makes sense that I would receive the same. This realization came about because I seemed to be having similar ‘issues’ in different relationships. I used to get out of one relationship and into another only to have the same pattern repeat itself. How many times do I have to go through this to finally realize that the one common denominator in all the different relationships is Self? It took as many as it took to get me where I am – which is in a long-term relationship…..and my work relationships are also much better and healthier.
Forgiveness is just like anything else we do to better ourselves – it takes practice. The more I do it, the easier it is to do it the next time. One thing I am noticing is that because I am more attentive to forgiveness, I am becoming much less judgmental – but that is another topic altogether, eh?